Taxile Island

Now sit right back, and you'll hear a tale,
A tale of an idiot,
Who started on his taxes in
The dingy month of March.

He found that there were ov'rages,
Withholding was not there.
Because of things like mortgages,
To pay he did not dare.

Now forward to October 10th,
The taxes were still due.
Except with int'rest, penalties,
His options were but few.
His options were but few.

The wife had a business of her own,
Or was it a hobby?
His hobby was gambling,
Did not need Schedule C.

Now finally he made it through,
From beginning to the end.
State taxes were quite a breeze.
Tax software was his friend.

He filed electronically,
Just as Turbo said.
'Cept one day later, note came back:
"Your e-File's rejected!"

"Argh!" He said, but luckily,
He had a spare cartridge
Of ink for printing out the forms
For dead-tree fiyaling.
Dead-tree fiyaling.

The printout, it was clean and true,
The check was not a blank.
Because they sold some real estate,
The money's in the bank.

Now wifey's business had a lot
Of shipments at the post.
She took the sheaf and brought it down
To the place she knew the most.

She sent the letter certified,
As often people do.
Five minutes later hubby rang,
"Oh what did I do?"
"Oh what did I do?"

She flipped the Razor shut my friend,
And turned back on a dime.
She begged the postman for a break,
Just for once, this time.

You see, my friend, he had forgot
To sign his legal name,
The IRS will not accept,
And they will cause you pain.
They will cause you pain.

So if you ever have to file
The good old-fashioned way,
DON'T FORGET TO SIGN, my friend
Or man, you'll have to pay.
Man you'll have to pay.